


cause i'm getting pretty fucking tired

by C0SMICNYU



Series: marvelverse [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Harley Keener is a Good Bro, Hurt Peter Parker, M/M, Not Beta Read, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Precious Peter Parker, Sad Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28378764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C0SMICNYU/pseuds/C0SMICNYU
Summary: The people of New York saw Spiderman as an optimistic and kind person, always down to help old ladies cross the street and still bust crime rings in alleyways. The Avengers saw Peter Parker as a ray of sunshine who could do no wrong, respecting everyone in any way he can.But damn, Peter was so fucking tired.
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Series: marvelverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057787
Comments: 5
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> warning:  
> descriptions of depression (in my understanding and experience)  
> triggering scenes
> 
> please proceed with caution ;-;
> 
> (maybe leave a comment/kudos if u feel like it :D)

The people of New York saw Spiderman as an optimistic and kind person, always down to help old ladies cross the street and still bust crime rings in alleyways. The Avengers saw Peter Parker as a ray of sunshine who could do no wrong, respecting everyone in any way he can.

They didn’t see the sadness that lingered in his eyes when he stared into nothingness for too long. They didn’t see him stiffen in the middle of conversations, fear flashing in his eyes when there was nothing to fear but his own memories.

Damn, Peter was  _ so fucking tired. _

He was trying so fucking hard to get through the days, surviving every day without the will to even try. He was so detached from everything cause he couldn’t even feel anything anymore other than constant fear and the daunting sadness.

It was like there was this gaping hole in his chest that he couldn’t fill. He didn’t even feel alive anymore. At this point, the only time he could feel was when he was sobbing into his sheets and the sadness just overtook his entire being.

He came to a consensus. He finally understood the difference between living and just existing. He was existing as he powered through the days, surviving without any motivation and going through supposedly normal things with so much effort it feels illegal. He understood. This was existing, not living.

He still performed his Spiderman duties, patrolling and saving kittens from trees. He still appeared in family dinners, keeping one ear open in case his name was mentioned. He would fake enthusiastic chatter so they wouldn’t get suspicious.

It was exhausting but what wasn’t in his life?

He opened his eyes and fell into his routine, doing things to make sure that he looks presentable. He couldn’t burden anybody. He had to deal with his shitty problems himself.

Peter stared into the mirror, dull eyes looking back at him. Purple bruise-like eyebags were looking heavy under his eyes and he looked paler than usual. He was a mess and he couldn’t let anybody see that.

He sighed and took a quick shower, lightly squeezing his cheeks for some color to pop on his face. He grinned at his reflection, like he always does when he was in the presence of his surrogate family.

They didn’t deserve his lies.

He exited his room and made way for the elevator, no intentions on eating breakfast. He was immediately caught by Harley, who was in a daze. He looked like he just woke up, given the messy state of his hair.

Upon seeing Peter, a wide grin broke on the teen’s face. Harley immediately glomped Peter, the younger teen melting into the affectionate hug. He loved Harley’s hugs. They were always warm, welcoming and felt like home. It was a privilege he used to abuse and now he remembers why.

“You’ve been a busy teen, Pete. I haven’t seen you in forever! Have you eaten?” Harley asked, eyeing Peter’s state with a frown.

Peter shrugged. “I have an apple in my bag.”

“That’s not breakfast. Let’s go to the kitchen.”   
  
“Not in the mood for breakfast, Harley.”

The blonde teen’s eyes narrowed. Peter never skipped breakfast. It was a rule in the tower to make sure that Peter got all the necessary nutrients in breakfast cause of his enhanced metabolism. Any skipped meal was stunting, decreasing his efficiency and processing time.

And he never used Harley’s name unless it was a serious thing. It was princess or potato boy or tater tot or Keener or Harles.  _ Harley  _ was rarely a word in Peter’s vocabulary.

“Pete, are you okay? You’ve been avoiding everyone.”  _ You've been avoiding me.  _ The underlying message in Harley’s statement was loud and clear in the hurt tone he used with Peter.

The younger teen winced. “I'm not avoiding anyone. I'm just busy. Please drop it Harley. I’m gonna be late.”

Frustration seeped on Harley’s face before he sighed and let go of Peter’s hand. “We’re talking later. Don't even think of patrolling tonight, or else I’m talking to Auntie Nat.” Harley threatened.

Peter nodded and was engulfed in one more hug before promptly getting shoved into the elevator.

\--

The day passed quickly, Peter unable to focus on anything again. Beside him, Ned watched warily. The Filipino boy sent MJ a worried glance before turning to Peter.

“Pete.” He said softly, placing his hand on Peter’s shoulder.

The boy flinched, eyes wide. “I'm sorry. What was that?”

Ned and MJ shared discreet looks, MJ pushing Peter’s tray towards him. “Eat, loser. Loser 2 is worried.”

A guilty look flashed on Peter’s face. He was being a burden to someone again. “Sorry. Don't worry about me.” He sent them a weak smile before shoveling a spoonful of food into his mouth.

After a few bites, he felt his stomach cramp. These were the consequences of not eating regularly. His body was beginning to reject and his stomach probably shrunk.

He chugged the water, hoping to get rid of the awful feeling of stomach acid rising up his throat. He rested his head on Ned’s shoulder, a blank look on his face.

Ned sported a worried look and put his arm around his best friend. “You're gonna be okay, Pete. We’ve got you.”

It sucks that Peter was tuning things out.

\--

School ended and he was picked up from school at the usual time. The drive to the tower was quiet, which was a dead giveaway to Happy. Peter really wasn't doing well. He looked at the teen through the overhead mirror, his face looking sunken. He looked sick, underfed.

Peter wasn’t supposed to be somber. He was the life of the party, constant chatter and exuberant gestures.

Happy dropped him off, placing his hand on the teen’s shoulder before he got out. Peter looked at the head of security with a confused look.

Happy just gave him a small smile and a pat to the back before letting him out. Peter watched the car drive away before he entered the SI tower.

He got in the elevator and leaned on the wall. “Hello Peter. I have already informed your family that you have arrived. They are all waiting for you in the dining room. Shall I bring you to them?” FRIDAY said, her voice filling the white noise.

“Override. Bring me to my floor.”

“Command denied. Tony says you must come. We have arrived at the Avengers floor.”

Peter sighed. There was no turning back now. He could easily hack into FRIDAY and override all of Tony’s commands but he was absolutely drained and just wanted to sleep.

He dropped his bag on the sofa and approached the dining room, already feeling the heavy atmosphere within.

“He’s been avoiding us?” Wanda’s hurt voice reached his ears, jolting something inside him.

“He looked… sick.” Harley whispered. “I don't know what’s going on. MJ and Ned told me he’s been eating less, spacing out, less active.”

Peter froze. MJ and Ned snitched. Harley noticed something. MJ and Ned told Harley and Harley told them. Harley told them.  _ Harley told them. _

He had to get out.

“Peter has arrived. It is time for dinner.” FRIDAY’s voice rang through the penthouse, announcing Peter’s arrival. Everyone’s eyes snapped in his direction, Peter looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“Peter…” Natasha’s soft voice hit Peter’s ears, his brain screaming and telling him to get out.

So he jumped out of the window, 96 stories above. He heard startled yells behind him as he swung into the night, mask pulled on tight.

He couldn't breathe.

He felt the drowning feeling. It was like he was being held down, shoved neck deep into freezing water. He took gulps of air but none of them reached his lungs and it felt like he was dying.

He miscalculated on one of his swings and ended up free falling. He shut his eyes as he fell, only to fall into metal arms.

They landed on the roof of an apartment complex and Peter immediately scrambled out of the arms of whoever caught him. He sat up and pulled his mask off, taking deep breaths. The crash shoved his panic attack aside and now he could feel the pain shooting up his arm.

“That was a bad crash, darling.”

He looked up to see Harley Keener in all his glory, wearing his Iron Lad suit.

Peter backtracked with his good arm, trying to put some distance between them. Harley wore what he was feeling very well, the concern and sadness was easily spotted on his face.

“Peter, darling… I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to help. Let me help.”

A sob racked through his body, echoing in the dark night. Harley inched closer and wrapped his arms around the younger teen. “You can’t help me, Harley! I’m so fucked up! I can’t feel anything but desolation. I feel like everything is pointless and I just wanna disappear.” Those wide doe eyes looked up at the blonde, tears in them. “I’m broken, Harley. You can’t fix me.”   


“I don’t need to fix you, Pete. We’re humans, we make mistakes. It just takes a small shove in the right direction. We’re here to help. We’re all here to catch you every time you fall.” Harley ran his hands through his curly hair. “I got you, darling. Let’s go home.”

\--

Harley walked into the penthouse with Peter in his arms, dead asleep.    


“Oh my god, where’d you find him?” Pepper asked, immediately caressing the side of her son’s face.

“He was free falling in New York and I caught him.” Harley said softly. “He… He should rest first. I’ll go tuck him in.”

The adults nodded and let him go to the elevator, the compartment shooting up to Peter’s floor.

They watched apprehensively, waiting for Peter to wake up and hoping that they could finally talk to their kid.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comfort part 1 :D  
> (tears shed at every paragraph maybe JAHSBSJKJS)

Peter woke the next morning, feeling soreness on his upper body. A quiet groan escaped his lips as he stretched in bed, the streaks of sunlight irritating his eyes.

“FRI, can you please close the blinds?” He requested, which the AI followed wordlessly.

He laid there for a while, mind whirring and moving at a fast pace. Overthinking was always one of his biggest problems. With a mind like his and senses dialed up to 11, it made overthinking infinitely worse.

He sighed as he sat up, burying his face into his hands. “Hey.” A voice said from his doorway.

He looked up to see Harley who sported a small smile on his lips, dark bags underneath those usually bright blue eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” Peter muttered.

Harley chuckled. “Free falling into metal arms would do that.” The blonde teen noticed the crease on Peter’s forehead and the unshed tears in his brown doe eyes. “Oh, Pete.”

The lithe teen was engulfed in a warm hug before he finally broke into sobs. “I’m so sorry.” Peter said in a choked sob, face buried in Harley’s chest.

“Shh, darling. You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, we should be the ones apologizing. We should’ve been helping you through it. Everyone in the hero business has at least PTSD.” Harley whispered, carding his hand through the curly hair to detangle them. “You have us, Peter. Don’t be afraid to talk to us.”

Peter’s sniffled, arms still tight over Harley’s midsection. Harley continued to whisper soft affirmations, trying his best to reassure the younger teen. Eventually, his breaths became softer and he fell back into slumber. Harley felt his eyes droop and he fell asleep too.

\--

Tony watched the scene through FRIDAY, feeling like his heart was being torn apart. How could he let this slip? How could he allow his son to be swamped in this sadness? To be swallowed by his fears and anger to the point that he didn’t even talk to them anymore.

He sat down on the bench, burying his face in his hands. They had to fix this. They had to make it up to him and soon.

\--

Peter woke up a few hours later, the sun beginning to set in the horizon. He looked down on his torso, seeing arms loosely wrapped around them. He wriggled a bit, only to feel them tighten into a hug. He smiled fondly, turning to see Harley.

He wrapped his arms around Harley as well. He closed his eyes and relished in the warmth. He heard a groan, making him open his eyes again.

Brown met blue, both gleaming with fondness and intelligence. A smile was shared between the two, the gesture speaking volumes.

“Ready to talk?” Harley asked, still peering into those warm brown eyes.

“Sure. I just-” Peter’s stomach growled, echoing in the silence. A grin spread on Harley’s lips, Peter’s cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

“Okay, Pete’s stomach. Food first. Up and at ‘em. FRIDAY, please get our usual from McDonalds and wire it to Tony.” Harley called out.

“Noted, ETA is 5 minutes. Will you be eating at the commons or here?”

“We’ll eat here. Tell them that we’ll be down after eating.” Peter’s told the AI. Harley left the room to get the food.

“Okay. Miss Potts says, ‘We’ll be waiting. Don’t rush yourself.’ Mister Stark says, ‘Eat all the fries you want, then let’s talk.’ The rest of the Avengers express the same sentiments.”

Peter smiled at the concern they held for him. He really had his head up his ass the entire time. He seriously forgot just how awesome his family was and how willing they are to help him with anything.

“Hey, penny for your thoughts?” Harley said with an armful of McDonalds.

“My thoughts are worth a million bucks, princess. Pass me the fries.” Peter snorted, eliciting a bright laugh from his friend.

“Glad Tony’s a billionaire then. So, should I wire the payment to your account?”

Peter laughed. “Not necessary. I was just thinking about you and the Avengers.” He said somberly. Harley paused, taking in the expression on Peter’s face. A small smile was on Peter’s face, accompanied by a content look.

“I’m such a dumbass for forgetting that you exist. You’ve been there for me and now I feel guilty cause forgetting you’re there for me will make you feel like you haven't implemented your place in my heart which you obviously have.” Peter rambled, going off tangent as Harley listened to him fondly.

Peter stopped talking from Harley’s lack of response. He turned to look at his friend, surprise rising in him upon seeing the utter adoration in those azure blue eyes.

Peter was a genius. That was evident. One thing that comes in his skill set is above average observation skills.

He saw the look in Harley’s eyes. He knew that look. The one you give to someone you utterly adore. The look you send someone who you would fly to space for and snatch every star on the midnight blue sky if they ever ask. It’s a look of innocence, finding joy in the simplest of things so long as you’re with them.

It’s a look he knows so well cause it’s the same look he sends Harley every. single. day.

Peter was speechless, staring at Harley only. Harley snapped out of his mooning and noticed Peter’s gaping. “What’s up?” He asked.

"You... I..."

"You what?"

Peter snapped his mouth shut, pressing into a thin line. A smile spread on his lips, smearing ketchup on Harley's cheek. "Too slow, princess. Get better reflexes and I might tell you." Peter winked before running into the hallway, leaving a sputtering Harley in the bedroom.

He stopped running and began jogging towards the kitchen to pick some water up. He gulped it down and turned to walk back to his room. He forgot the kitchen was facing the lounge.

There in the living room sat all his parental figures, looking at him with varying looks of concern, sadness and disappointment.

Peter stood there like a deer in the headlights.

He didn’t know what to say.  _ “Hey! I’m sorry for jumping 90 floors above ground?”  _ or  _ “Sorry for being such a dramatic teen?”  _ or  _ “Sorry for being a dumbass and forgetting that you guys have my back!” _

Either way, he was fucking nervous and he began fidgeting. “I…”

“You don’t have to say anything right now, Pete.” Tony told him softly. “We can wait if you need more time.” He turned to his teammates, who understood the message behind his look and left the room. They gave Peter gentle smiles and left him alone with Tony.

Peter’s lip quivered at the sincerity and unbridled concern in what Tony said. “No. You deserve an apology! I’m sorry for being such a moody teen! You have bigger things to worry about than my--”

“You shouldn’t apologize, Peter.” Tony said, voice gentle as ever. “Come here, kiddo.”

Peter walked to the couch and burrowed himself into Tony’s side, feeling the older man’s arm wrap around his shoulder.

He planted a kiss on Peter’s temple and the teen just  _ melted.  _ “You can talk to us about anything, okay? We’re here for you. You have me, Pepper, Harley, your aunts and uncles. We’re here to provide a voice of reason, to pull you from any hole you fall into.”

Before Peter knew it, tears spilled and fell onto his dad's shirt. A sob left his lips and he felt Tony pull him closer, whispering reassuring words into his ear.

“Just cry, Pete. I got you. Let it all out.”

Peter did just that. He cried and cried till he felt his tear ducts dry. He cried till he passed out and Tony had to carry him back to his room where Harley was still laying, watching a random comedy movie.

Tony tucked him in beside the blonde. “Go to bed, Harley.”

“I'll stay. You go to bed, old man.”

Tony rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss onto Peter’s forehead. He turned and ruffled Harley’s hair before exiting the room.

  
  



End file.
